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” s talk about the core of all communication n. The thing that determines how persuasive persuasive you are if you get what you want in the case. Nof. This video you live or die speaking of i should let you know that we ll nbe exploring this particular thing through the world of game of thrones.
So yes life nand death does come into play and the thing that we re going to be exploring is called na and you ll see that in a lot of ways. The ngame of thrones is really a game of frames. But i m getting ahead of myself first off nwhat is a frame a frame is basically all of the unstated nbeliefs that give context to any interaction. The frame gives meaning to the words that nwe say so the difference between me saying.
The first thing that i want to talk about nis the importance of frames. When trying to convince someone of anything in this next. Nclip. The two characters whose faces that you re going to see are passing through the woods nwhen.
Some pretty savage people who roam the mountains find them watch this clip. And see nif you can note each person s frame meaning each person s beliefs that they bring to the interaction clearly there are a handful of different nframes in the scene. You have the people who are surrounding them and their frame appears nto be and we re going to kill you except that he intends to fight so that he ndoesn t get killed. But tyrion.
The dwarf proposes a totally different frame. He acts nas. If their friend. He acts as if he s inviting them to share their food and their fire like nthey just stumbled upon him.
The genius of this frame is that if they accept it he nwill escape with his life. So let s watch what happens here tyrion responds in the same fashion nas. The man that he s speaking to saying his father s and family s name again his frame nis that they re introducing themselves as friends. But clearly.
It s not going so well. So now. He s tried this friend frame twice nit s not working so..
What can you do because this type of situation with much much lower nstakes is going to happen in your life. You will want someone to assume your frame. But nthey re going to resist so watch how tyrion handles it he totally breaks. This guy s frame with humor nsee the laughter there in this frame.
And in real life. Too laughter is a telltale nsign that someone has had their frame shifted. Usually. It s the person who is laughing that nhas had their way of viewing.
The world disrupted and in this case. The guy with the axe thought nthat tyrion should choose right then and right there how he die tyrion purposely misinterpreted. His question nhe added. A bit of humor and that was enough to make this guy break his frame and laugh nif you ve ever tried to be mad at someone while they continually make you laugh over nand over and over again you know what this feels like it gets tough to stay mad at them nbecause they ve re framed you and they ve interrupted your pattern of being upset in these moments.
Right after someone has nshifted their frame is when they are most open to being persuaded. So the lesson here nfor your own life. Nothing to do with game of thrones is that if you re trying to persuade nsomeone and they re being resistant. Don t just keep pushing instead you need to re frame.
Nthem and humor is a great way to do it you see here. Tyrion doesn t just plead for ntheir lives. Now that he s broken their frame. And at least gotten them to listen he can nbegin to persuade them and if you re interested i can cover the full list of persuasion tactics.
Nthat tyrion uses. Because there are many but suffice it to say that if someone is being nresistant while you re trying to persuade them. The answer is not just to go over and nover again down the same path you need to disrupt their pattern. You need to re frame them nand.
Then you can begin to speak to their interest and speak more logically for now nlet s just continue talking about frames. And move to insults every single insult. You ve ever said or heard nis a frame game even from the school days of who said..
It and i do not recommend engaging nwith someone who s putting you down or insulting. You i usually just try to take the frame nof. This isn t worth my time and then walk away. But it s still informative to watch nhow frames.
Determine exactly who wins one of those back and forth exchanges. So watch nthis clip in this case. Tyrion is talking to robb stark. Who does not like him or his nfamily.
Very much watch here this is a fairly straightforward insult or neven. Just a diss. Tyrion calls. Robb insulting his inexperience and then robb ndenies.
It saying that he is a lord tyrion responds by saying that he isn t behaving nexactly like a lord should so despite his protest. Robb. The guy at the end here doesn t ncome out of that exchange looking so great fighting the frame of an insult. Normally makes nyou look like a chump watch this next clip in contrast.
In this none. The same guy robb has become commander of a huge army and speaking to a prisoner nfrom tyrion s family. The family that he hates again same insult same guy you re a boy nyou re inexperienced. You re just playing it war.
Which is really not a great thing when nyou re in command of an entire army. But this time something has changed watch how instead nof fighting the frame. Robb flips. It and he uses it to his advantage you see that he takes the prisoner s own nwords and uses them against him this works much much better because an insult is really njust a battle to see who can control who when you get mad at an insult and you fight nit you have already lost.
But when you don t fight the words and instead changes the nframe meaning that you turn their insult into praise for you or an insult to them nthen you have taken control that is how you win the frame game not by having the best nzinger. But by being the person in control. So the third and most important frame game nthat..
I want to talk about is for this i need to give a little context. Nfor non game of thrones fans tyrion. The dwarf is wrongfully accused of murdering nthe. King.
He s basically set up his trial is a total farce. And he s told that his options nare death or to plead for his life and to be granted exile into the coldest northernmost npart of the world where he basically need to work as a servant for the rest of his life. Nhe s told that those are his only choices. And that he better just beg for his life nbeg for exile in order to save himself.
But instead he creates a third option and this is one nof. The most famous scenes of the entire series. This is basically how tyrion survives. All nof his encounters he creates a third option that other people don t see everyone thinks nthat.
The choice is between exile and death. And he chooses trial by combat which strictly nspeaking in this world is legal. But nobody presents it to him as an option earlier in the series again when he was nwrongfully framed for another assassination attempt that he didn t commit. He s held in nprison until he confesses those are basically his options he can die in prison or confess nto.
A crime that he didn t commit. But instead. He cleverly stages a confession and uses that npublic arena to his advantage. He s able to shame his captors into giving him a trial nwatch this the point is this whoever controls the options nhas the power your options are rarely exactly what people tell you because that s how people nhave powers.
They control options the truth is that everything that is possible changes nbased on your creativity. Nothing is fixed. So you need to be resourceful. You need to nnot take what other people put on the table as your only choices.
When you re faced with na decision that says this or that and you don t like either choice refuse them both nand create a third way the way out is probably going to be different every time. But the nrealization that your options are never just exactly what people say they are and that nyou can break free from the options that are presented to you is going to be valuable nfor. The rest of your life..
That s how you stay alive in the game of thrones and that nis how you win in the game of life. If you re interested in learning. More about nsolidifying your frame. So that you don t lose these frame games.
And miss out on options nwe. ve actually created a separate video on improving your confidence and your conviction nit is a real life exercise that you can do to boost your confidence in about one minute nand. I ve used it repeatedly in those situations. Where a strong frame is really really important from ninterviews tough conversations first dates all those sorts of things so.
If you want to see that video go ahead nclick. The link that will pop up right now you re going to be taken to another page. Where nyou can drop your email and get the immediate access to that video if you haven t done so yet please click subscribe nright now the button on the video you ll get notified of our videos every week. And never miss na new one that way also a huge huge thank you to every one who has subscribed.
It is nbecause of you that i have put so much effort into these videos and make more than one. A nweek now which i m very happy about so thank you guys very much your support means na ton. And it s the reason the channel exists so again thank you guys lastly let me know if you ve enjoyed this nvideo in the comments. I don t normally do fiction.
This is the first time i ve ever ndone it but if you like it i can do more and if not quite frankly. I will not so nyour guidance is going to be what determines. The direction of where this channel goes next nplease let me know in the comments. I take it very seriously that s why we did this nvideo in the first place.
But i want to know how you think it went so i hope that you ve nenjoyed this video. I hope that you learned ” ..
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